Depression

Summary: You think the wierdest things when despressed.
____________________________________

Is life a series of steps, landmarks, checkpoints?

Thought I had it all worked out,
what I had to do
and what to do after that.
Graduate, get a job, get married, have kids.

Why am I inclined to follow this format,
it tears me apart?

I’m different, no I’m normal.
I can’t, yes I can.
I’m lonely, I want to be popular.
I’m popular, I want to be lonely.

Why do I seek completeness,
it is impossible?

Every human being spends their life
trying to make the world perfect,
but it’s so gloriously imperfect.
There is no ending, no right or wrong.

What can I do next to improve myself?

I’m happy and sad,
I’m cool and insecure.

Does she like me? Why? Oh, she doesn’t really.

Got to create the right impression,
speak well, dress well, good hair.
Got to train more,
do more sit ups, press ups.

How many numbers do I have on my mobile?
How many texts do I get?
How many msn contacts do I have?

Need more money,
need to go out more,
need new friends,
need a girl.

Will I ever be able to let go?

I hope.

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